“My dog thinks he can breathe underwater.”
“Really? Fletcher? You know, I’ve always thought he was special.”
“I said he thinks he can breathe underwater, not that he actually can.”
“Are you sure? He could be some kind of furry mermaid.”
“Come on, Casey.”
“I said he could be some kind of furry mermaid, not that he actually is.”
“I’m really worried about him. He jumps in the pool and takes forever to come up, and then he’s gasping and sputtering and I practically have to give him mouth-to-mouth.”
“But I know you’ve always wanted to! Here’s your excuse!”
“Oh, my God, Casey, can you just stop? Why don’t you ever take me seriously?”
“Please. Your name is Flower. I can’t take you seriously.”
“You’re supposed to be my friend.”
“Aren’t I?”
“Not if you keep on being mean to me.”
“Aw, poor Flower had her little feelings hurt.”
“You know what? I’m done talking to you. I refuse to put up with your put-downs.”
“Flower, come back. Don’t be like that.”
“I’ll be however I want to be.”
“Hypocrite. If you can be however you want to be, I should be able to too.”
“Oh, you can, just not if you want to talk to me.”
“I was just playing around. What do you want me to do? I’ll install a fence around the pool so Fletcher doesn’t keep jumping in, I’ll train him to swim properly—”
“This isn’t about the dog, Casey!”
“It isn’t?”
“It’s about us. Well, it’s about you. You don’t care about me at all, do you? I’m just a big joke to you, aren’t I?”
“Flower, of course I care about you! Seeing you is the only thing that makes my day bearable. I look forward to talking to you because I know you’ll always make me smile.”
“Aw, Casey! That’s so sweet!”
“What would I do without your hilarious-looking face and ridiculous comments to bring humor into my life? Ouch! Stop hitting me! Damn, those nails hurt!”
“You know what else hurts? Being—”
“Ouch!”
“—insulted—”
“Ouch!”
“—all—”
“Ouch!”
“—the time!”
“Flower! I’m bleeding!”
“Serves you right.”
“Are we even now?”
“I guess. You’re lucky I didn’t strangle you or drown you or something.”
“Ah, my dear, but you forget—I can breathe underwater. Ouch!”
I like it.
It’s better than the version I read in your journal, and I think you may have bested mine again. Great dialogue– I LOVE the “I refuse to put up with your put-downs” part.